


If You Could Have Anything...

by AllHallowsEve



Series: Wincest Colored Glasses [27]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anger, Angst, Episode: s02e05 Simon Said, Fear, Fratricide, Frustration, Hope, M/M, Mind Control, Pre-Slash, Shame, Wincest - Freeform, beginning to suspect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 11:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHallowsEve/pseuds/AllHallowsEve
Summary: Sam's vision leads the brothers to confront two more of the Yellow Eyed Demon's chosen few.  Emotions run high as fears compound.Season 2 Episode 5 as seen through Wincest colored glasses.





	If You Could Have Anything...

**Author's Note:**

> Well adulting has really been kicking my ass recently. I am truly sorry this update has taken so long. I hope it is worth it.
> 
> As always this is unbeta'd so please be sure to hit me up about any corrections that need to be made.

Pain ripped through Sam’s head as if something was trying to birth straight from his skull like Athena from Zeus.  Sam wasn’t Zeus and nothing as beautiful as a Greek goddess was filling his mind, only death and fear, leaving behind intense nausea.  It was the worst vision he had had in a long time. 

He was trying to pull himself together when Dean barged into the bathroom without knocking, as was his annoying brother’s way.  Dean helped Sam to the car.  He draped one of Sam’s arms across his shoulder and wrapped his own hand around Sam’s waist. 

If Dean wasn’t so worried about his brother, his libido would have loved the feeling, but fear was grinding around in his guts like broken glass.  Sam told him about his vision, and was convinced they needed to go to the Roadhouse but Dean was afraid of how the other hunters would react if they realized how different Sam was and told Sam in harsher terms than he meant to.  His father’s final warning echoed through his unsettled thoughts making him clumsy with his brother’s feelings.

It hurt Sam to hear Dean call him a freak because of his visions, and how they were connected to the demon.  But when Dean gave him a pat on his leg and turned his lips up in a charming half smile, saying “you’ve always been a freak,” it softened the blow somewhat.  He didn’t want to believe that was how Dean viewed him, since it was pretty much how he viewed himself anyway.  But it was true, that Dean had called him a freak his entire life. His older brother didn’t really act like this vision development had changed his view of Sam deep down.    At least Sam hoped it hadn’t.

They hit the Roadhouse and were met immediately by Jo.  Dean stopped to say hello since she was standing right in their way, but Sam blew past her, asking only where Ash was.  Dean apologized for Sam being so brusque but then walked away himself with not much of an explanation.

Dean couldn’t even fake flirt with her, his mind was swimming in fear and a need to protect Sam, but he didn’t know how to protect his little brother from what was inside Sam himself.  He went to the back where Sam was knocking impatiently on Ash’s door with no luck.  Dean knocked and asked for ‘Dr. Badass,’ since that is what the sign said.  The door opened and he was immediately assaulted by a view of naked Ash, much to Dean’s discomfort.

Sam put Ash on a search for the information he managed to remember from his vision, asking him to look for any demonic tells.  That came up empty so Sam asked Ash to search for any fires in nurseries in 1983 in the area of Guthrie, the city that Sam’s vision had been about.  Sam stayed on Ash, who told him it would take about 15 minutes, but Dean went to get a beer at the bar. 

Jo put on R.E.O. Speedwagon and the slow melody of ‘Can’t fight this feeling’ filled the bar.  Dean questioned the choice sarcastically, but Jo stood her ground.  She asked Dean about the profile Sam had Ash searching for, and told Dean she could help him.  Jo made it clear that she would like to go with the brothers, and Dean could feel the sexual queues she was sending his way.  He confessed that he was afraid of Ellen’s reaction if he ever tried anything with Jo, but what was the deeper truth, was all about Sam. 

Now that Dean thought maybe Sam could have feelings for him, in the same unbrotherly way that he harbored, it made Dean not ever want to touch another human being, because all he had ever wanted was Sam to begin with.  Anyone else was just a poor temporary substitute that never made a dent in any of his wants anyway.  But of course he couldn’t tell anyone that, so Ellen was a legitimate excuse to not deal with Jo anymore than he had to.

Dean drove away from the Roadhouse, and the song that had followed him out into the night played on repeat in his head, so he began to sing along.  The words and beauty of Dean’s voice haunted Sam, making him think about how many times as a teenager he had hoped Dean would turn his attention to his little brother instead of all the nameless faceless girls he came home smelling like. 

Sam had found an old cassette in one of the motels he was stuck sulking in waiting for Dean.  It was someone’s mixed tape and when he jammed it into his beat up walkman, the first song that played from it was this one, it was the first time he had ever heard it, and it immediately made him think of his feelings for Dean. Sam used to close his eyes and sway alone in the motel room listening to this song while Dean was out.  He would imagine Dean singing it to him and holding him close while they slow danced together. 

It hurt Sam’s heart more than he wanted to admit to hear Dean singing this after seeing him flirting with Jo in the bar.  He knew it was only a matter of time until Dean hooked up with the young beauty, and it made Sam’s skin crawl.  This girl wasn’t some stranger Dean would never see again, this young woman was a fixture in her mother’s bar, and the brothers needed to keep going there.  Ash was an invaluable resource and the only way to reach him was by going there in person.

Sam didn’t want to follow the invisible line out into the future of Dean having a regular hookup with someone who knew about their lives, and understood hunting the way Jo did.  She was the first real threat to his life with his brother that Sam had ever faced.

So as much as he loved listening to Dean sing, and it didn’t happen often enough for his taste, he threw a pissy look Dean’s way and asked him, “You’re kidding, right?”

In hopes that his brother would leave off singing the ballad that Jo had picked out, by shaming Dean and his unusual pick in music tonight.

To Sam’s surprise, Dean genuinely didn’t seem to remember that it had been playing in the Roadhouse and didn’t act embarrassed, the way he would have if he had been thinking about Jo.  It made Sam feel slightly better.

The brothers discussed Andrew Gallagher, the guy Ash had found, and how many similarities there were between Sam’s story and his.  They decide to try at his last place of employment to see if they could get any clues to find him, to see if he was the key to Sam’s vision.

Andy’s old boss pointed the men to a van where they might be able to find him.  Dean turned to Sam to express his admiration for the guy’s taste in van art when his heart fell into his stomach.  Sam was staring out at the van, but he wasn’t happy with admiration.  He looked worried and frustrated and all kinds of emotionally messed up.  Dean asked his brother what was wrong but Sam tried to blow his concern off. Dean insisted, teasing Sam that he looked like he was sucking on a lemon.

Thinking about Sam sucking anything would have raised darker thoughts in Dean if his brother didn’t have him so worried.  Sam finally confessed what was on his mind.  The visions that weren’t directly connected to the demon, all seemed to be connected to guys just like Sam, but Max had been a killer, and if his visions were to be believed, so was this Andy guy.  If logic followed, it would mean that Sam would turn dark too.

John’s words echoed in Dean’s memory, but Dean angrily disagreed with his father and with Sam.  Telling Sam in no uncertain terms that he was wrong, and he wasn’t a killer.

Sam protested saying he had killed lots of things, but Dean was adamant that their hunting was different than being a murderer.

Dean could tell by the worried frown on Sam’s face that he had done nothing to dissuade his brother from believing the worst about himself.  John’s voice began to haunt Dean as he turned away from Sam, unsure how to make him feel any better while fighting the nausea John’s last words brought on.

Sam watches as a young scruffy guy stepped out of a nearby door along the sidewalk the van was parked next to.  He prodded Dean and indicated the guy they were looking for had just appeared on scene.  The brothers watched as the guy sauntered down the sidewalk and got a coffee from a guy walking by.  Sam’s nerves shot into high gear when he saw Andy walk up to the older man that had killed someone in his vision.

Sam pointed out the shooter to Dean who told him to stay on the older guy, while Dean would go follow Andy.  Neither brother felt good about splitting up when they didn’t really have a bead on what was happening but it seemed to necessitate that if they had any hope of stopping what had happened in Sam’s vision.

Sam got out and quickly began to tail the older man who seemed to be headed in the direction from Sam’s vision.  Dean drove off down the street after Andy who had made his way to his van and taken off.

The van suddenly pulled to a stop and Andy got out.  Dean put Baby into park, but left her running, while he waited to see what was going to happen, putting his gun in his pocket just in case.  Andy walked up and began talking to him about how sweet the ride was and how ’67 was the best year for Impalas.  Dean explained how he had just rebuilt her and Andy asked him if he could have the car. 

Dean didn’t hesitate, even for a moment.  He jumped out of the car and closed the door for Andy after he had climbed in behind the wheel.  He watched helplessly as the young man drove off with the only thing in the world he loved almost as much as Sam.

Sam followed the older gentleman until he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to take a phone call.  Chills went up Sam’s spine as the bus he had seen in his vision drove their direction.  He crossed the street and quickly stepped into the store where the older man had killed someone in his vision, trying to get out ahead of what had played out in his mind.  He looked around to try to figure out what to do to stop things from occurring the way his vision had shown.  He saw a fire alarm above the door and pulled the line out of it causing the alarm to go off.  He quickly left, hoping it would be enough of a change from what he had seen to stop the kind man from becoming a killer.

He watched as the man stopped in front of the store for a second, and seemed to snap out of whatever had brought him to the location.  Sam sighed in relief as the older man turned away and began walking in the opposite direction.

His delight in having changed his vision’s outcome was short lived as he watched their Impala drive down the street with Andy behind the wheel.  Sam immediately called Dean to tell him, and to his surprise, Dean already knew all about it.  His brother explained how Andy had asked him for the car, and he had just given it to him.

Sam couldn’t believe it.  Nothing short of a threat against Sam’s life, could have caused Dean to give his car away, even then it might be a tossup.  Dean explained in consternation that Andy had mind control ability of some kind.

Before Sam could even wrap his own mind around that thought, he watched in helpless horror as the older man from his vision walked out in front of an oncoming bus to his death.

Dean rushed to the area where the man died as fast as he could given that he had to walk the entire way.  He found Sam seated on the corner as close as he could get to the activity while the paramedics swarmed the area.  His broad shoulders were slumped in defeat and his entire body was hunched in on itself, making him look smaller and younger than his age.  Dean bent down to perch behind him at an angle and rubbed his back gently with his left hand. 

As soon as he realized what he was doing he pulled it back, trying not to show shock from what his hand had done unwittingly to comfort his beloved brother.  He had to get a handle on himself.  Yes it wasn’t unusual for him to take care of Sam, but he hadn’t shown his brother that kind of physical comfort in years. 

Just because he suddenly had a more concrete hope that Sam shared his feelings, he had no proof, and couldn’t assume he was right until he had more information to go on.  If he began showing his brother more clues about how he felt, and he was wrong, it would go just as horribly as he had always imagined.

So as much as he hated it, he sat and just listened to Sam, without touching him, hovering just a few feet away, which was too far for his taste, but had to make due.  Sam’s broken, hurt, whisper, as he explained what had happened and how he had thought he had fixed everything by keeping the guy out of the store, ripped through Dean’s heart.  It was hard to concentrate on the task at hand, when Sam’s pain was flowing out so clearly.  He wanted to make his brother feel better, but knew nothing could until they got to the bottom of what was happening. 

He knew nothing would really make Sam okay, as long as the fear he would turn into a killer hung in his mind.  Dean hated that his father put such thoughts into Dean’s own head even for a moment.  Dean knew down to his bones that Sam wasn’t a killer and could never be a monster, not at all.  But he had no idea how to convince Sam of that.  Did Sam’s powers or whatever they were scare him, absolutely, but he knew Sam, trusted him, so he had to believe that Sam would never turn dark, he had to believe it, to maintain his own sanity.

Dean wanted to pull Sam up and hold him in his arms.  Rock him and tell him everything would be alright.  But he didn’t trust his own judgment about what might be there between the two of them.  Ever since Sam had stood facing him on the cliff’s edge and had seemed to want Dean as much as Dean wanted him, nothing his brother had done had remotely indicated that again.  It was beginning to make Dean wonder if it had ever been there in the first place and not just his own wild imagination influenced by his desperate need for his brother to feel the same desire as he did.

He needed to stop hoping unless Sam showed some other indication to back up what Dean had initially suspected. 

So he just listened as Sam beat himself up.  Dean tried to discourage him, and tell him there was no way he could know what would happen after he stopped the man from entering the store, but it didn’t seem to have much impact on how down Sam was on himself at the moment.

Dean talked him into trying to find Andy again and figure out a way to confront him without him putting Jedi mind tricks on both of them.  They had to hoof it because the dick still had the Impala, but as they entered a new four way, Dean spotted his beloved Baby and hit Sam in the stomach to get his attention.

Even before Dean’s, “Thank God,” was exclaimed, Sam could feel his brother’s relief palpable on the air.  He had been so afraid of what Dean might try to do to get the car back.

They discussed the idea that it didn’t seem like Andy could do his mojo by just thinking about what he wanted, Dean deduced that he would need verbal commands to make people do what he wanted.  Sam agreed saying that the doctor had just gotten off his cell phone right before walking into oncoming traffic.

Sam was furious at this Andy guy.  He was also scared.  If the guy could cause his brother to give up his beloved car, what else might he convince either of them to do.  He wasn’t sure how they could face someone like that, but knew they had to figure out a way.

Sam was caught off guard when Dean told him that he wasn’t sure if Andy was their guy.  It floored Sam and roused anger inside him.  He couldn’t believe his completely judgmental brother was giving the guy the benefit of the doubt.  It was not like him.  Dean seemed to be giving this guy special treatment and it caused jealousy to flare up inside Sam, burning his stomach and making his anger worse.

Dean tracked down Andy’s van with not much effort due to how much the thing stood out, and Dean’s admiration of the guy seemed to swell when he picked the lock on the back door and opened to a pimped out back end, with everything from a disco ball to a tiger painted across the inner side panel.  It looked like a sex room with no taste, and the delight was writ large across Dean’s face.

Sam was disgusted and angry and jealous but all of that faded into confusion when he noticed the philosophy books the guy had strewn across the “bed area.” It didn’t mesh with the rest of the décor and made Sam re-evaluate what the guy’s motivations might be.  He hated how smiley Dean was when he found the giant bong laid out on the covers.  The thought of Andy telling Dean to do more here than just give up his car made him sick to his stomach. 

Sam had no idea if Andy swung both ways but wasn’t ready for him to prove it with Dean if he did.

The inconsistency of the heavy reading versus the shallow décor did go towards convincing Sam that Dean might be right that the vicious murder didn’t fit Andy’s seeming M.O. but he wasn’t ready to let go of the idea until they knew more.  All indications from his vision, to the similarities of Andy’s childhood trauma to Sam’s own, made him still seem the likeliest candidate for the bad guy in this scenario.

The brothers decided to hide and stake out the van and try to get answers from Andy when he came back. 

Dean was not happy with this case.  It all made his skin crawl, the fact that he had given his precious Baby away without a thought, the fact that Sam was questioning whether he could morph into a cold blooded killer, the fact that Dean hadn’t felt one blip from Sam as far as an indication that he did want Dean too.  That was the part that was rankling him the most.  The fearful elation he had felt when Sam was so close while confronting him that day on the highway, it had faded into a dull echo of what it had been.  There were absolutely no corroborating clues that he had been right.

He of course couldn’t complain about that to Sam, so instead he took it out on his burger, complaining that he wanted to someday be able to sit down and eat something that he didn’t have to microwave at a minimart.  In truth, it was his mood, not his food that had him ill tempered though.

Sam didn’t even seem to notice.  He was nose deep in the case details, going over the fact that he didn’t understand the motive behind what had happened.  When he vocalized his confusion to Dean, his older brother again brought up the possibility that it wasn’t Andy.

Sam lost his temper a little, saying, “Dude, enough.”

Sam had no idea why his brother was so eager to see this Andy guy as not the bad guy.  The dots to connect lead right back to the guy and he told Dean so.

Dean nonchalantly claimed to not think the guy had it in him to do it.

Sam’s jealousy and irritation got the best of him and before he could stop himself he angrily questioned, “How the hell would you know? 

His voice rose to a higher than normal pitch in disbelief.

“Why are you bending over backwards defending him?” Sam’s forehead was wrinkled in consternation and a mix of emotions.  They didn’t know this guy, he even caused Dean to give up his precious Impala, and here Dean was uncharacteristically defending him.  It made Sam’s head hurt and heart hurt and he didn’t know whether to be sad, jealous, or angry.

Dean stubbornly flatly stated, “Cause you’re not right about this.”

Dean was desperate to prove that Sam wouldn’t be bad, and maybe if he could prove that he was right about Andy, that he just didn’t have it in him to be the cold calculating killer of Sam’s vision, then there was real hope he could prove to Sam that he didn’t have it in him either.

Sam finally realized by Dean’s cagey response that maybe his brother was talking about something bigger than this case.  Sam couldn’t be sure unless he asked, “About Andy?

Before he could get clarity on just what was going on with Dean, there was a bang on the top of the Impala’s roof and Andy poked his head in the passenger window and accused them of following him, and asked point blank why.

Without blinking Sam went right into their cover of being lawyers for a relative of his.  But before he could finish his lie, Andy interrupted and commanded that they tell the truth.  Sam smiled calmly and began to say that was what he was doing, but before he could get more than two words out, Dean’s reluctant voice overpowered Sam’s while he stated, “We hunt demons.”

Sam turned in shock to his brother, managing only, “Dean,” before his brother continued.

“Demons and spirits.”  Dean’s face was a conflicted churn of emotions, his mouth kept moving and confessing about the two of them, that they were brothers and hunters and Sam was psychic like Andy, all the while Sam watched in confused fear.

Dean’s explanation just kept going unbidden, Sam told him to shut up and Dean said in desperation, “I’m trying.”

But then his discussion of their real reason for being here just kept flowing out, describing how Sam thinks Andy is a murderer and is afraid he will become one himself because they are both part of something terrible.  Sam’s face morphed through anger and disbelief and fear of what was happening to his brother that he seemed to be powerless to stop.

Dean’s expression couldn’t remotely show the extent of the terror going on inside.  He felt completely compelled to tell more and more but his stomach was churning when he got to the part about him hoping to hell he is wrong, but that he is starting to get scared that he might be right.  Dean had to stop, had to stop right now because so much more was threatening to come rolling out of his mouth, he couldn’t confess anymore, what he had said was bad enough, he didn’t want Sam to think for one minute he doubted him, doubted the goodness in him, but now he had said he was scared Sam might be right.

Dean struggled to close his mouth, to stop the flow of information, to keep himself from confessing that he was in love with his brother and that his father thought Sam might turn into a monster and _Oh God_ he had to stop, Dean just closed his lips tightly and prayed for his mouth to not let any of these thoughts escape, to just keep quiet behind a sickening grin.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief when Andy bent down and said “Just leave me alone.”

Dean collapsed in on himself hiding his face in his hands leaning hard against Baby’s door for support. It was like he could breathe again, had control of his mouth and tongue and his own will again.  He hadn’t let all of his secrets out, he didn’t know how he had stopped himself but maybe because none of that had anything to do with Andy, he didn’t have to admit any of that out loud.  He didn’t know why he had been able to stop, but he was just so glad he had.  He wasn’t too relieved though, because he had said things that might hurt Sam, but at least he hadn’t said anything that would split them apart, perhaps forever. 

Sam’s face curled up in anger and he lunged out of the car after Andy as the smaller man walked away.  Andy panicked telling Sam over and over to go away and leave him alone, but Sam was a silent force who just kept coming, closer and closer.  Sam began to inform Andy that his powers didn’t work on him, that he knew what was going on and that Andy’s power to make people do what he wanted started about a year ago.

Dean finally managed to get himself under control enough to get out of the car, but Sam motioned for him to stay back.  He didn’t want his brother anywhere near Andy anymore.  He never wanted to see Dean so powerless ever again, it had been scary and heartbreaking and so frustrating to watch.

Sam confronted Andy with all he knew about what he was going through and that he understood because it had all happened to him too.  Sam told him he had abilities too and that they were connected.  Andy freaked out and began to attempt to run away but Sam wouldn’t let him escape.  He asked Andy why he told the doctor to go in front of the bus.

Before he could get an answer though, Sam began to have a vision.  His brain exploded in pain and the vision was blurry, Sam shook his head and faced Andy, asking him again why he killed the doctor.

The vision became stronger and cleared into focus.  It was of a woman who got a call at a gas station and immolated herself.

Sam turned around and grabbed his head, his eyes closed in horror and pain and his body hunched in on himself.  Dean rushed over and grabbed his brother in concern, holding his arms and helping slow his decent towards the ground.  Dean asked him what it was, and hovered closely by holding Sam’s shoulder.  Sam described his vision and told Dean that as long as they kept Andy in view he wouldn’t be able to hurt the woman.

Andy was confused and kept asking what they meant and that he hadn’t done anything to Sam or anyone else. 

A fire truck flew by with sirens blazing.  Dean looked to Sam for instructions on how to handle the situation and Sam told him to “Go.”

Dean took off without a word, hoping Sam would be okay there with Andy.  Dean still believed that Andy could be innocent in all this, at least of the murders and he hoped he might get to the woman in time before she killed herself.

Sam turned to Andy and used his height to intimidate the smaller man further.  Telling him he was staying with Sam.  Dean called moments later and informed Sam that the woman had burned up exactly as Sam’s vision had shown but that it had happened while Sam was with Andy.  That somehow in spite of all information pointing to the contrary, this wasn’t Andy.  

Dean promised he would stick around the crime scene and dig out any clues, that might point to who was doing this.

While Sam and Andy waited for Dean, they talked about Sam’s visions.  Andy thought it sucked, that they were all about death.  He told Sam he felt like he had won the lottery with his gift.  Sam was confused, he told Andy that he could have anything he wanted but yet he still lived in his van.  But Andy looked at him with an open face and innocently said he had everything he needed.

Sam couldn’t believe it, that someone would choose to live that way when they didn’t have to, when they could have anything.  But then he thought of Dean, of the fact that Dean loved their lives, loved being on the road, even when they had to sleep rough in the Impala.  Maybe that was why Dean seemed to connect with Andy’s lifestyle.  Maybe it had nothing to do with Andy himself, but that someone with the ability to have anything he could ever want, seemed to have what he wanted, just like Dean.  Sam’s face was full of contemplation as he assessed Andy.

He then turned to more serious thoughts, asking Andy, “So you’re really not a killer?”

Andy laughed and agreed saying that is what he had been trying to tell Sam. 

Relief flooded Sam finally, realizing that if Andy hadn’t turned bad after using his abilities all this time, then maybe there really was hope for Sam too.

Sam heard the Impala before it came into view, its low purr announcing it as Dean drove up the back alley where they had stayed while he was gone.

The two younger men stood and walked in the direction of the car as Dean parked and got out.  He told them he had found out the woman’s name and that he had called Ash to find out what info he could dig up.  Andy told Sam he had never heard of her.  Dean said Ash had found out she had given birth when she was 18 back in 1983, same day Andy was born.  Sam asked him if he had been adopted. 

Andy asked if they thought this woman could actually have been his birth mother, but Dean said the only copy of the birth certificate was sealed in the county office.  Andy assured them he could take care of that.

Andy talked the guard into letting them have full access to the records room and told him to go have a cup of coffee and not to worry at all.  They dug into the records and Sam had no trouble finding the ones they were looking for.  He gave Andy the news that not only was the woman who had just burned up his birth mom, but that the doctor that had thrown himself in front of the bus that morning had been the one at his birth who had helped her give him up for adoption.  Then the big news came that Andy had a twin and they had been separated by the adoption.  His brother’s name was Ansem Weems and he had a local address.  Andy was shocked to find out he lived in the same town.

Dean printed off his DMV picture and it surprised them all because they had all seen the man before.  As they drove back to try to find the guy, Sam told Andy to tell them all he knew about the guy, that Andy knew as Webber.

Andy told them that he had shown up about eight months ago, trying too hard to get close to Andy, acting like he was his best friend.  Dean said that he must have known somehow that they were twins, but he didn’t understand why the guy hadn’t just told him the truth.  Before they could discuss it any further, Sam grabbed his head with both hands, groaning in pain.  It was clear that he was having another vision.  It was of Tracy, the nice lady at the diner who had initially told them about Andy, and she was throwing herself off a dam down into rushing waters below.

Sam was crying out clutching at his head in pain, flailing around on his side of the seat.  Dean kept saying Sam’s name over and over as he pulled the car to a stop in a panic.

Sam threw open his door trying to get air into his lungs and Dean rushed out from his side around the back of Baby to get to his brother.  He grabbed Sam’s shoulder and chest trying to calm him and hold him still.  Sam panted and tried to catch his breath.  Once he could see clearly and had enough air to speak he told the others what he had seen.  Andy recognized the description and told them where to go.  He led them to a spot close enough to park without being seen.

The brothers went to the back of the car and Sam told Dean he should hang back.  For once Dean didn’t argue.  He hated the thought of Sam handling this alone against a vicious killer, but he knew his mind could be manipulated and if Andy’s lack of control over Sam was any indication, hopefully Webber wouldn’t fair any better against his brother.

It still made Dean’s stomach churn to think about not having Sam’s back, but he knew he had to let him go.  Andy surprised them both by insisting that he was going too.  He cared for Tracy and had to try to save her.

They snuck quietly out from where the Impala was parked towards the walkway and road in front of the dam from Sam’s vision and there was a car parked just beside where Sam had seen Tracy take the plunge.  Sam walked around to the driver’s side while Andy took the side with Tracy.  As Sam busted in the driver’s side window, and punched Webber in the face, Andy opened the passenger door and grabbed Tracy getting her out.

Sam manhandled Webber out of the car and got him down on the ground, keeping his gun to the man’s head.  Andy ran over and put duct tape over his mouth so that he wouldn’t be a danger to them.  Andy then lost his temper, thinking of how Webber had been hurting Tracy and how he had killed their mother.  He kicked Webber in the chest and who knows how far he would have gone with the violence but Sam grabbed him and told Andy to let him handle it.

As the two men struggled, Andy threatened to kill his brother, but Sam held fast against him keeping him from it. Tracy picked up a huge stick and knocked Sam out with it.  Andy turned in shock to stare at her, telling her to stop it, using his power against her for the first time.  Webber used the distraction to pick himself up off the ground and rip the tape from his mouth.

Andy asked in shock how he had managed to instruct Tracy without verbalizing it and Webber just gloated that he had practiced and explained it would cause a headache but sometimes it was worth it.  Andy lunged at him to attack him again but Webber just told him to back off or Tracy would take a dive.

Andy did as he was instructed and asked Webber to please not hurt Tracy.  Webber began to go on a rant about how she was trying to come between them, that they all were and then Andy told him he was insane.  That he should have just called Andy up and talked about all this, he shouldn’t have gone off on a killing spree.

Sam regained consciousness as Webber explained that the man with the yellow eyes wouldn’t let Webber tell Andy about them being brothers, that the man had instructed him to wait.  When Andy asked him what he was talking about, Webber continued, saying the man had come to him in a dream and told him he was special.

Sam listened in horror as Webber explained that the yellow eyed demon had told him he had big plans for him.  That he had told Webber he had a twin.  Sam was woozy from the headshot and couldn’t get his limbs to work, no matter how desperately he wanted them to.

Dean snuck around until he could get a clear shot at the action from a distance with his scoped rifle.

Andy asked Webber why he had killed their mother and the doctor.  Webber began to lose it, screaming at him that those two had split them up and ruined the twins’ lives.  That he had punished them for it.  Suddenly Webber could feel Dean off in the distance behind him, his attention was caught when the hunter had chambered a round.  He turned and looked up in the direction towards where Dean was trying to hide, saying in a threatening voice that he could see him. 

Sam huddled on the ground terrified for Dean, feeling powerless once again unable to help his brother as someone manipulated his mind.  He couldn’t see Dean from his prone position and still couldn’t get his arms and legs to move at all.  Tears filled his eyes as he heard Webber say, “Bye bye,” in Dean’s direction.

Dean lowered the rifle and put it under his own chin, a gunshot echoed out in the night, and Tracy sobbed hysterically on the edge of the dam.   Sam cried out in anguish from the ground, finally being able to flip himself over at least onto his back in angry determination to somehow find the strength to take out Webber.  But his heart stopped and then started again in relief as he realized that Andy had picked up Sam’s gun, when Webber had been distracted with trying to kill Dean, and had shot his own brother. 

Dean’s heart pounded in panic as he dropped the rifle at his feet.  He had been an instant away from pulling the trigger and ending his life.  He fell on his butt in the dirt and tried to catch his breath.

In spite of the dizziness flowing across his vision, making his head foggy and addled, Sam forced his limbs to move and at last got his wobbly legs under him.  He stood and his body trembled, he wasn’t sure if it was the possible concussion he was fighting or the fear of what he might find up in the foliage where Dean had been planning to perch.  He walked unsteadily and then began to run when he could manage till he came upon where Dean sat slumped on the ground. 

Sam collapsed on his knees beside him, his hands flying all over Dean’s head and shoulders and chest as he asked, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Dean looked up into Sam’s panicked eyes and smiled, just happy to be alive, and elated that Sam was there worried about him.

“That was a close one Sammy,” Dean’s voice was rough and shaky.

Sam still had tears flowing down his face, “I thought I had lost you.”

Dean reached out and brushed a tear from Sam’s cheek.  Panic filled his heart as he realized what he had done, until Sam’s cheek seemed to press into his palm and then vanished from his grasp.

Sam launched himself upwards suddenly, away from what he had just done.  He cleared his throat nervously and grabbed Dean’s arm, pulling him to his feet.

Sam cleared his throat again and said, “We need to go check on Andy, he just killed his brother.”

Dean’s feelings might have been hurt if not for the blush he could just barely see playing across Sam’s cheeks as he turned to walk away.

Tracy took some convincing to play along with a story to cover up what had really happened, since Andy didn’t want to use his mind tricks on her again.  But she finally gave in and the police were called.  Andy convinced the officers that they had witnessed Webber shoot himself.  The Winchesters watched him handle the situation from the sidelines and fear was in Sam’s voice as he said quietly, “Look at him, he’s getting better at it.”

Dean stood with his back against the concrete wall across from the damn, he watched over Sam as he sat on the sidewalk.  The paramedics had just finished checking out the damage from the hard blow to the neck and head he had taken the night before.

Andy walked over to them and as the brothers moved away from the wall to talk to him, he said Tracy wouldn’t even look at him anymore.  That he had never used his powers on her before last night and now she was scared of him.  Dean gave Sam a look and that was all it took for his brother to know that they needed to leave.  Sam felt horrible abandoning Andy this way, but Dean was right.  Sam left Andy his cell number so that he could contact them if he needed anything.

The brothers turned in unison and began to walk off, but Andy called out to them, asking what he was supposed to do now.

Dean said, “You be good, Andy…” and left a pause, before finishing the threat, “or we’ll be back.”

Dean turned again and began walking off, but Sam was slower to follow this time.  As he caught up to his brother, he said heavily, “Looks like I was right, Andy was a killer after all.”

Dean’s heart dropped into his stomach.  He couldn’t allow Sam to go down that road again, because if he thought badly about Andy then it followed that he would begin believing the worst about himself too.  He put on a light smile and told Sam Andy was a hero, who had saved his girlfriend’s life and Dean’s life too.

Sam wasn’t having it.  He was as bad as a dog with a bone and wouldn’t drop it, no matter how badly Dean wished he would.  Sam insisted that the bottom line from last night was that Andy had indeed killed someone.  Dean’s face fell, as his mind gripped for anything that might turn Sam off this straight line of declaring himself a bad seed.  Dean tried to negate Sam’s point by saying, “Yeah, but he’s not a foaming at the mouth psycho.”

“He was just…”  Dean stuttered, trying to grasp at any straw to explain what had happened without giving Sam more ammunition.  He blinked quickly, mind searching, “He was just pushed into that.”

Sam turned angry eyes at Dean and said Webber was pushed too, and so was Max Miller.  Sam’s frustration grew as Dean’s face showed him he wasn’t buying what Sam was selling.  Sam said, “Hell, I was pushed too by Jessica’s death.”

Dean’s shoulders slumped slightly at the mention of Jessica.  He turned towards his brother his tone one of tired vexation, “What’s your point Sam?”

Sam began a tirade that tied all his facts together, saying that under the right circumstances everyone is capable of murder and that maybe that is what the demon wants, maybe he is just pushing all of the kids like him, Sam’s voice became almost panicked, desperate as he said, “Finding ways to break us.”

He wasn’t able to meet Dean’s eyes as he said the last of it, as if he felt an intense shame at the potential of being broken in that way, vulnerable to the demon’s plans.

Dean did the only thing he knew how to do, he put on a brave face, and minimized his attitude about the danger, by just bluntly saying, “Sam, we don’t know what the demon wants, okay?”

He slapped Sam against his arm in a, _see, I’m your big brother, you need to listen to me,_ sort of way and verbalized, “Quit worrying about it.” In a tone he hoped was both believable and dismissive at the same time, while turning and walking away, to put a period on the conversation.

Sam’s panicking heart was in no way satisfied with Dean’s reaction to his plight.  He watched as Dean began walking towards the car his stride suggested assurance and confidence.  Sam knew his older brother was trying to make him feel better, but he was too old for Dean’s tricks to work the way they had when he was little.  Sam was raw and lost and something that had stabbed him from the day before rose to prominence in his mind. 

Dean didn’t quite make it to his door before Sam dug in deeper, in his fears and his need to hash all this out.  Sam’s voice called out, “You know I heard you before, Dean.”

Dean turned his head back towards the taller man, making eye contact as Sam continued, “When Andy made you tell the truth.”

Sam walked to his side of the car and stared across the roof at his brother as he had so many times before.  He looked Dean dead in the eye and accused him, “You’re just as scared of this as I am.”

Dean’s voice rose a level, not in loudness, but in anxiety, as he declared defensively, “That was mind control.”

He had tried everything, now he just turned to stubbornness born from fear and being at a loss as to how to fix any of this.  Stuttering “Its, its like being roofied man, that doesn’t count.”

Sam stared, his forehead scrunched in incredulity, his own voice rose to a pre-pubescent tone, “What?

Dean pointed his finger doggedly at Sam and just went for childishness, hoping to derail Sam by any means necessary, “No.”  He shook his finger in a negating motion, “I… I.. I’m calling a do-over.”

Sam’s voice went even higher, “What are you, 7?” He shook his head in disbelief, his mouth hanging open in surprised consternation.

Dean felt this was working, he just had to keep with it.  “Doesn’t matter.” He swung his finger around adamantly, “We just gotta keep doing what we’re doing, find that evil son of a bitch and kill it.”

Dean ended his statement flatly, as a declaration of the only truth that mattered.  He put on his _I’m serious right now_ face and breathed a sigh of relief when his phone rang out, blocking any further attempt Sam might have tried.

The fight drained out of Sam, as he whispered, “Yeah I guess,” as Dean answered his phone.

There was only so much of his big brother’s crazy style of logic that he could stand up to, before the years of training kicked in.  Dean had always taken care of him, had always looked out for him and had always known the right tact to take regarding monsters.  Plus Sam was straight up exhausted. The blow to the head and neck had left rough angry tracks, along the base of his skull on his right side and under his ear flowing down his neck that almost looked like road rash.  His head began to pound and as Dean answered the call, Sam opened the door and sank down into the waiting safety of the Impala.

It was Ellen on the phone, telling Dean the boys needed to get to the Roadhouse asap.  Dean agreed and pulled his Baby onto the highway without any further discussion about the demon or the fears he caused to churn between them.  It wasn’t quite a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable either and in spite of his not being happy about Dean seeing Jo again this soon, his exhaustion won out and Sam’s head leaned against the window as the drive lulled him to sleep.

Dean brooded a storm cloud on his side of the car.  He had no idea what to do or how to allay Sam’s worries.  It was true that he was not completely comfortable with Sam’s connection to the demon, and had fears associated with it.  But in his heart he knew Sam couldn’t go bad, but his father’s warning was like poison twisting him up in his guts at all times.  He felt lost but knew he had to hold it together for Sam’s sake until they found more answers and could kill the son of a bitch for good, which would make everything else a moot point.

He hadn’t had a chance to think about what had happened between the two of them the night before as Sam had rushed to his side after he had almost killed himself.  He allowed himself to fall into an almost happy lull, imagining it might be true, that Sam did desire Dean the way Dean did.  He still had no proof, but his heart gave a flutter at the memory of Sam’s blush as he had turned away from Dean the night before.  He felt lighter than he had the entire time on this case as he pulled the car into the Roadhouse’s parking lot and softly shook Sam awake.

Ellen welcomed the boys and gave them both a beer, and it wasn’t until she sent Jo unhappily to go pull another case of beer, that the boys began to feel something was off.  She asked them about the hunt they were just on and Dean told her that it was a family thing.  She declined to take that as the end of the conversation and threw a file on the bar as she began rattling off the facts of the case asking if they thought it was related to Sam and the demon.

Sam confirmed her theory in spite of Dean’s, “Sam,” clearly instructing him not to.

Dean angrily told Ellen that this was none of her business but she insisted that this wasn’t just the Winchesters’ war, that it was all of their war.  That something big and bad was coming fast and the bad side held all the cards.  That the only thing they could do was rally together to fight it.  Dean took it all in, and Sam looked to his big brother for an indication of what to do with what she had just said.

Dean eyed Sam, and just by silence and his facial expression Sam could tell Dean saw the logic in it, even if his big brother didn’t like it. So Sam began to tell Ellen what they knew about the others like him.  Dean watched as Sam confessed to his own ability, he could hear the shame in Sam’s voice and hated it.  Hated himself for having anything to do with putting it there.  Dean dropped his eyes towards the bar and shook his head angrily.  He loathed trusting people, anyone but Sam, with Sam, and how vulnerable his brother was about all this.

Sam kept cutting his eyes Dean’s direction almost using his brother as a touchstone for strength while he told how the demon had plans for him and all the others like him.  His voice was gravely and barely above a whisper.

Ellen asked if these people were dangerous and Dean adamantly denied it, then added reluctantly, not all of them.

Sam insisted that some were though, very dangerous.

Dean told Ellen they had been able to track the people through the pattern of the house fires on the night of the kid’s sixth month birthday, but then Sam startled his brother by saying, not all of them.  Dean turned shocked, inquisitive eyes towards Sam as Sam explained that he had looked into Webber’s file, and there had been no fire, nothing out of the ordinary to have flagged him as one of the group.

Dean’s voice dropped, as did his hope for an easy solution to this, as he verbalized his realization that they had no way of truly knowing how many others there were out there.  The brothers’ heads drooped in unison as they stared quietly into their beers, contemplating the overwhelming feeling of being up against such an unknown force the demon was preparing, and having no clue what it was all about.  Neither said anything as Ellen called out to Jo who had just recently returned, telling her to break out the whiskey instead of the beer she had just retrieved.  Dean glared at her angrily, as she reminded him of a softer version of the authority figure he had been raised by.  He was just getting used to not having his father as a general, and now he got a haunted feeling that Ellen might be trying to step up to fill those shoes. 

All he wanted to do was whisk Sam away and find some plan to suss out if his brother had unbrotherly feelings for him, but it looked like that wasn’t going to be in the cards for them anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay lots to say. I was so excited by the scene just after the doctor walked in front of the bus, where Dean had his hand on Sam's back. I had never noticed that nugget before and was thrilled to find it in this rewatch. We are finally beginning to get a little traction forward about the beginnings of the realization at least by Dean that the desire might not be so one sided. That is making me really happy. I hope it is working for you guys too. It is at a snail's pace, I know, but again, I am trying to make this fit within canon and not push my own desires to fit things more than it feels makes sense in the situation.
> 
> I still have no plan, just going episode to episode and letting the boys lead me. 
> 
> I really am sorry that my own pace at releasing these stories has slowed down so drastically. It makes me very sad that I was blowing through one episode a day and now it is taking me over a week to get each episode from Season 2 out. 
> 
> I hope you are still enjoying them, even though you are having to wait a long time in between each episode. I love you all and you will never know how much your kudos and comments mean to me and keep me going!!!


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